Do's around Romeo Nightingale

Do's around our favorite keyboard artist, Romeo Nightingale

1) Do remind him constantly of his resemblance to an albino chimpanzee

2) Do throw to the trash his clothes. Replace them with ballet customs

3) Do force him to attend to your VIP tea prties. Do hit him if he refuses to.

4) Do make him breakfast. Mold is an excelent companion for scrambled eggs, and soil tastes wonderfully in any cup of coffee.

5) Do sign him up for rehab. Do drop him there and run off.

6) Do sing the Batman theme without stopping

7) Do squirt little ketchup bags at his face

8) Do lassoe him and tie him up like cattle

9) Do signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears

10) Do throw open pen ink cartridges at him.

11) Do jump in his bed to wake him up every Saturday at exactly 3:55 a.m

12) Do repeat the jumping the same Saturday at 9:45 p.m

13) Do write X-BURRIED TREASURE HERE on random spots on his bedroom floor

14) Do put light road flares on his birthday cake

15) Do make the said birthday cake with pennies and soil

16) Do ocassionally bob your head and ask for a password. Do bite his shoulder if he doesn't know it.

17) Do scream everytime you see him, and then say "Holy shit, Romi! That mask is too- oh, wait...yeah, it's your face"

18) Do try to sell him Girl Scout cookies

19) Do announce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host body." Do look at him in the eye with a demented smile after saying it.

20) Do wear puppets on your hands. Talk to him through them and let the puppets "kiss" him.

21) Do pretend you're a ninja. Do attack him constantly

22) Do fly a kite in his apartment and run around with it

23) Do fill his room with Barbies when you know his friends will come over

24) Do loosen the lug nuts on his new car

25) Do paint his room day-glo orange

26) Do put metal buckets on your feet and clomp around him all day. Be sure to stomp really hard

27) When all the metal racket of the buckets give him a headache, do give him Viagra instead of a painkiller

28) Do paint his face like a puppet

29) Do quack with every step he does

30) And last but never least, do smile like stupid when he's screaming at you. Don't say anything. Just smile.